I recently heard this term, which aptly describes my approach to "loving" of late. The clever Heidi Raykell describes it as "Real-dolling"... Get it? Doll? Made real?
Assuming one is at least somewhere deep down inside still a hottie mama, then what is a person to do to rekindle the desire to be a more active participant in one's extracurr-lick-ular activities? One of my motivations for weaning V is the hope that it might spruce up my desire. Perhaps if I'm not handled and pulled and bitten -- by my child, I might be more inclined to be handled and pulled and bitten -- by my hubs.
I didn't used to be this way. Far from it. I used to feel like an outlier in the world of women (during my first marriage, I even checked out a book once called "What to Do if He Has a Headache"), but now I'm apparently quite representative of the mainstream, which I absolutely despise just on principle.
There are many clever books and conversations to be had on reawakening desire.. and even some fabulous comments here at CrankMama awhile back on the topic.
But you know how when you feel like sh*t emotionally and someone says something cheerful and hoo hoo and you just want to hit them because you don't want to be cheered up, you want someone to fix you?
That's how I feel when I read and/or talk about the topic of desire-building. To me, re-igniting passion only works if one has the proper internal kindling.. the internal kindling that I'm apparently missing right now. I don't want to be the purveyor of pity sex.
I want to be a priestess at the altar of LUVIN...
I want to find my inner hottie mama and invite her to stay for awhile...