CrankMama

Questions

As Queen Interpreter of the World to 3 girls, I'm faced daily with the prospect of coming up with clever, seemingly accurate answers to the most stirring questions facing great minds under 5 today.  These include:

Why do mommas need so much sleep?

Because that's how we recharge our superpowers

Do you really actually have eyes in the back of your head, or are you just kidding?

No I'm not kidding.   I actually can see everything you do at all times so clean up your toys and stop hitting your sister.

Are people only alive when they're in heaven?

    Hmmmm?

Are people alive in heaven?

    Sorry? What?

ARE PEOPLE ALIVE IN HEAVEN, I SAID!!

    Ask your Father.

Why do we have so many grandmas?

Because mommy & daddy are in the post-divorce generation and we're all paying the price now for the self-discovery and self-expression of the Me-Generation (aka: Boomers) who all chose to end 1 or 2 marriages in the 70s and 80s and remarry and create a huge mess for Gen X to clean up.

*Silence*

 

Ask Me, I Know

Here are some fun questions I've been asked:

"So. Do you love your daughters enough?"
"Did your hips expand after you had kids?"
"Does your husband mind that you breastfeed?"
"Tell me all about your life.  Are you happy?"
"You had your twins out of wedlock?"

The problem with these questions isn't that they're rude and overly personal, the problem is they mirror questions my Inner Mormon (IM) sometimes asks me when I wake up in the middle of the night.  IM is there to hound me with doubts about all the bad/good/I don't know choices I've made thus far. And even though all's apparently well that ends well, they still haunt around.

One of the things good girlfriends do for each other is share these doubting thoughts and then apply a salve of understanding...

So share yours with me.  It's free and I'm always nice to gal pals.   Post here or email me: crankmama@gmail.com