The babies. They have totally ruined my tough chic groove forever. My insides are on the outside and my outsides are mushy and swollen when I want them to be taut and lithe, or at least free of peanut butter schmear.
So today. Work. Everything is going along swimmingly. I'm showered, wearing lipstick and heels, and looking like some facsimile of my former self. Confidently and cheerfully, I head into a meeting with my boss to present the budget.
And I can't describe what happened next very clearly, but the next thing I knew, he was pointing out a mistake in my numbers and I just knew I was about to cry. Blubber. Burst into sobbing gags. I excused myself and washed away as much of the redness and puffiness as I could. When I returned he was onto the next spreadsheet and didn't look up, so we began where we'd left off. But I absolutely couldn't shake it. So his clever parries were met by mute agreement and the appearance of total obedience on my part. And this, got his attention. He said, "Are you all right?" and I said yes but that I had to get back to work.
Sometimes I hate that I've lost the cool exterior, the toughness, the ability to not cry at commercials about starving children in Africa. Sometimes I really despise this mushy mom person I've become.
Maybe I should just embrace my inner flower child and be done with it!!
Spinal Tap always makes me smile